I got the results of my tests today. My lining was 8mm and I have what looks like a follicle on my left ovary. So, I'm not quite menopausal yet. My FSH was 42, but doesn't really mean all that much since we don't know what day of my cycle I'm on (certainly not day 3!)
I emailed Reprofit with the details of my blood work and ultrasound and now I wait. My consultant is on vacation today so I will hear back on Monday as to what the next steps are.
If I have to go on BCP, my family dr. will not prescribe them without doing a round of progesterone to bring on my period. And, even then, she's not keen to do it. So, I'm going to go to a walk in and get it.
It is likely that the February date is not realistic so it will have to be moved, but I'm not giving up yet.
The plan was to go in February then if it worked I would be due in November. I would be 44 and all would be right in the world.
Well, if we push it back, then I will be in my 45th year and that just seems more daunting. Maybe we should do a March transfer and go for a December baby again. I don't know why it is such a big deal - it just is. It's a problem I hope to have!
Friday, January 9, 2015
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Doom and Gloom
Still no AF in sight and I'm feeling gloomy.
I saw my Dr. yesterday and was sent for bloodwork and an ultrasound. She thinks it is likely that I'm entering menopause - but we can't fully diagnose it until there has been 1 full year without a period.
I explained about doing the FET and wanting to go on BCP. Well, she won't prescribe BCP for me while I do not have my period. Needless to say I was very disappointed with the outcome of my appointment with her.
At the ultrasound they wouldn't tell me anything, but there looked to be a large spot of endomitriosis on my uterus. At least that's what I think it was, the U/S tech took lots of measurements of it. So, that looks like more great news. Did you know that sometimes csections can cause endometriosis? Yep - I googled it and there hasn't been formal studies of it, but there is some evidence to support that.
This FET is looking more and more unlikely.
ETA - I will get the results of these tests early next week.
I saw my Dr. yesterday and was sent for bloodwork and an ultrasound. She thinks it is likely that I'm entering menopause - but we can't fully diagnose it until there has been 1 full year without a period.
I explained about doing the FET and wanting to go on BCP. Well, she won't prescribe BCP for me while I do not have my period. Needless to say I was very disappointed with the outcome of my appointment with her.
At the ultrasound they wouldn't tell me anything, but there looked to be a large spot of endomitriosis on my uterus. At least that's what I think it was, the U/S tech took lots of measurements of it. So, that looks like more great news. Did you know that sometimes csections can cause endometriosis? Yep - I googled it and there hasn't been formal studies of it, but there is some evidence to support that.
This FET is looking more and more unlikely.
ETA - I will get the results of these tests early next week.
Monday, January 5, 2015
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Quick Update
Of course my body is not co-operating now that I have decided to go forward with a FET.
Oh, sorry! Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
Let me back up a step or two. Christmas was a ton of fun for G this year. She totally gets the whole Santa thing and was so excited for him to come to our house. Unfortunately I ate something weird on Christmas Eve and got a lovely gastro attack. It ruined Christams day for me - I didn't end up going to Christmas dinner.
We don't have any plans for New Years this year - usually we go to the Toronto Zoo where they have a kids' new years event, but not so this year. We are going to head out and watch the Penguins of the Madagascar later today. I will buy some appies for dinner, we have some sparkling wine and assuming we make it to New Years we'll have that to celebrate with.
Anyway, now back to my screwy body! I am supposed to start taking BCP as soon as I get my period. Well, I haven't really had a period in a while. When we were in Jamaica in November I had some spotting and since then that's been it. It's been over a month since then. I guess I'm into early menopause/perimenopause right now. I know I'm not pregnant.
The clinic told me to let them know if I still hadn't got it by the end of December and then they would give me further instructions from there. I emailed today and my consultant is out of the office until Monday so now I just wait in limbo.
With all of this waiting I have been having some second thoughts about going through with this. Do I really want to be 50 with a 5 or 6 year old? I am scared of the unknown. But, I want to try to have one more. I still want to do it.
Anyway, that's my quick update. I hope the holiday season is treating you well!
Wishing you a prosperous, healthy & happy New Year!
Oh, sorry! Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
Let me back up a step or two. Christmas was a ton of fun for G this year. She totally gets the whole Santa thing and was so excited for him to come to our house. Unfortunately I ate something weird on Christmas Eve and got a lovely gastro attack. It ruined Christams day for me - I didn't end up going to Christmas dinner.
We don't have any plans for New Years this year - usually we go to the Toronto Zoo where they have a kids' new years event, but not so this year. We are going to head out and watch the Penguins of the Madagascar later today. I will buy some appies for dinner, we have some sparkling wine and assuming we make it to New Years we'll have that to celebrate with.
Anyway, now back to my screwy body! I am supposed to start taking BCP as soon as I get my period. Well, I haven't really had a period in a while. When we were in Jamaica in November I had some spotting and since then that's been it. It's been over a month since then. I guess I'm into early menopause/perimenopause right now. I know I'm not pregnant.
The clinic told me to let them know if I still hadn't got it by the end of December and then they would give me further instructions from there. I emailed today and my consultant is out of the office until Monday so now I just wait in limbo.
With all of this waiting I have been having some second thoughts about going through with this. Do I really want to be 50 with a 5 or 6 year old? I am scared of the unknown. But, I want to try to have one more. I still want to do it.
Anyway, that's my quick update. I hope the holiday season is treating you well!
Wishing you a prosperous, healthy & happy New Year!
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Feeling Joyful
I told H this morning on our way to work that I am feeling so excited about trying again. This is different than in the past. Last year at around this time we started thinking about going the FET route and I was happy, but I had a lot of questions about what could happen, what could go wrong etc. I wasn't able to get past them to seeing what I really wanted.
A lot of those same questions are there, but the regret of not trying really outweighs them.
This isn't a sure thing by any means; there's about a 30% chance for success. The freezing technique that they used is pretty old school which doesn't help. I have to research what that does to the quality of the embryos. They had a policy of only freezing the very best graded embryos - on our fresh cycle we got 7 eggs, 5 made it to 5 day blasts, we transferred 2 and the 3 remaining all made it to freeze.
So, that makes me hopeful that they will survive thaw.
H. will not be travelling with me, so there could be quite a quandary if all 3 survive thaw. I will have to decide how many to transfer... after our last experience I am a little gun shy about transferring more than one. I guess I will cross that bridge if/when I get to it.
If I am lucky enough to get pregnant and eventually have a healthy baby, then Little G will have a sibling that matches her genetically. Same donor etc. It would be great for her to have a sibling she can turn to that is the same as her.
You can't dictate how siblings will interact, but I hope that if there is a sibling for her, that they will be in each other's lives as they grow up and are adults.
All this is to say that I am excited and happy about going forward. I know there could be a big fall in the future if this doesn't work, but for now I'm content to feel how I feel.
A lot of those same questions are there, but the regret of not trying really outweighs them.
This isn't a sure thing by any means; there's about a 30% chance for success. The freezing technique that they used is pretty old school which doesn't help. I have to research what that does to the quality of the embryos. They had a policy of only freezing the very best graded embryos - on our fresh cycle we got 7 eggs, 5 made it to 5 day blasts, we transferred 2 and the 3 remaining all made it to freeze.
So, that makes me hopeful that they will survive thaw.
H. will not be travelling with me, so there could be quite a quandary if all 3 survive thaw. I will have to decide how many to transfer... after our last experience I am a little gun shy about transferring more than one. I guess I will cross that bridge if/when I get to it.
If I am lucky enough to get pregnant and eventually have a healthy baby, then Little G will have a sibling that matches her genetically. Same donor etc. It would be great for her to have a sibling she can turn to that is the same as her.
You can't dictate how siblings will interact, but I hope that if there is a sibling for her, that they will be in each other's lives as they grow up and are adults.
All this is to say that I am excited and happy about going forward. I know there could be a big fall in the future if this doesn't work, but for now I'm content to feel how I feel.
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Ahem. I Am Back (again)
You know how you make a decision, think you're ok with that decision then every so often something pops up and you think "wouldn't that be nice". Well, I have been having those thoughts.
And, as it turns out, my husband 'H' has also been having those thoughts. I know what you're thinking - been there done that. You've been on this ride before with me, but this time... this time... it's different.
H and I were chatting last week about whether we ever wish we had more kids. We both said yes. H.is great about things; he has always wanted a big family, but since we can't have kids the old fashioned way he has deferred to me and how I am feeling. I have always been reticent. You know - why rock the boat.
I can give you a list the length of my arm why I think we shouldn't try again - my age, the unknown, it may not work, we are in a good spot financially. etc. etc.
But...there's this tiny voice in the back of my head...what if.
So, I jumped in on Friday. I emailed H at work and told him let's go for it. I looked up prices for flights and emailed the clinic. I am going to go near the end of February. I already have a hotel booked in Prague.
This is crazy. There's a part of me that is very scared of the risks and the unknown, but there's a bigger part of me that can't live with, doesn't want to live with, the regret of not trying.
It may not work, but I have to try.
My mother is not supportive of me trying again. She thinks I'm too old, it's too risky and she doesn't like the odds of multiples. So, I am taking the very mature step of not including her in the decision. We will tell her that I am away on business and if things work out, then we'll tell her when we're ready.
I hope to be posting here a lot more about this. DE FET. Wow.
And, as it turns out, my husband 'H' has also been having those thoughts. I know what you're thinking - been there done that. You've been on this ride before with me, but this time... this time... it's different.
H and I were chatting last week about whether we ever wish we had more kids. We both said yes. H.is great about things; he has always wanted a big family, but since we can't have kids the old fashioned way he has deferred to me and how I am feeling. I have always been reticent. You know - why rock the boat.
I can give you a list the length of my arm why I think we shouldn't try again - my age, the unknown, it may not work, we are in a good spot financially. etc. etc.
But...there's this tiny voice in the back of my head...what if.
So, I jumped in on Friday. I emailed H at work and told him let's go for it. I looked up prices for flights and emailed the clinic. I am going to go near the end of February. I already have a hotel booked in Prague.
This is crazy. There's a part of me that is very scared of the risks and the unknown, but there's a bigger part of me that can't live with, doesn't want to live with, the regret of not trying.
It may not work, but I have to try.
My mother is not supportive of me trying again. She thinks I'm too old, it's too risky and she doesn't like the odds of multiples. So, I am taking the very mature step of not including her in the decision. We will tell her that I am away on business and if things work out, then we'll tell her when we're ready.
I hope to be posting here a lot more about this. DE FET. Wow.
Friday, February 14, 2014
Still Chugging Along
It has been a while since my last post; I have been occupied with a weird stomach ailment. For a couple of weeks I was feeling nauseous and even dizzy a couple of times. I thought I might be pregnant so I took a pregnancy test. BFN. Then last Tuesday I started to feel like my food wasn't moving through my system properly. I would eat and then within an hour or two I would feel completely disgusting. I lost quite a bit of weight (8lbs in 7 days). I started a food journal and have realized that I am likely gluten and lactose intolerant... suddenly. I have celiac in my family and from the research I have done it can be triggered by pregnancy, stress or some autoimmune event. Looks like I have been triggered.
Since making this realization I have cut gluten out of my diet and am feeling 100% better. In the throws of this flare up I contacted my gastroentologist and have been scheduled for an upper endoscopy and a colonoscopy on Feb 25th. I am not looking forward to it, but in order to get an official diagnosis I need this done.
The only drawback about this is that in order for the tests to be accurate for celiac, I need to continue eating gluten. I just can't make myself do that - I felt so awful.
In the midst of everything the day came for me to start taking BCP in preparation for a potential FET in May. So, I have started taking it as well. I have to admit that I sway back and forth about moving forward with a FET. Our life is pretty awesome just the way we are. But. I know that if we don't try this I will always regret it.
So, we move forward. Hopefully I will have some concrete answers about my health in the next couple of weeks and I can figure out how to live gluten free. Thousands of people do it every day so I should be able to figure this out!
Since making this realization I have cut gluten out of my diet and am feeling 100% better. In the throws of this flare up I contacted my gastroentologist and have been scheduled for an upper endoscopy and a colonoscopy on Feb 25th. I am not looking forward to it, but in order to get an official diagnosis I need this done.
The only drawback about this is that in order for the tests to be accurate for celiac, I need to continue eating gluten. I just can't make myself do that - I felt so awful.
In the midst of everything the day came for me to start taking BCP in preparation for a potential FET in May. So, I have started taking it as well. I have to admit that I sway back and forth about moving forward with a FET. Our life is pretty awesome just the way we are. But. I know that if we don't try this I will always regret it.
So, we move forward. Hopefully I will have some concrete answers about my health in the next couple of weeks and I can figure out how to live gluten free. Thousands of people do it every day so I should be able to figure this out!
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