Friday, April 27, 2012


Someone on a messageboard I follow wrote about feeling her baby move (she is 6 months pregnant) and how she started crying because she is just so thankful that she is finally pregnant. She struggled with infertility before finally getting pregnant. She would also likely tell you she's not out of the woods yet and will only truly be happy when she has a healthy baby in her arms.

That's what infertility does to you, it makes you uber-aware of all of the things that can go wrong. It robs you of naivete. I didn't buy anything when I was pregnant until I was 16 weeks along and even then I only bought a couple of sleepers. After infertility, you are so afraid to jinx things that you just don't do the things that other first time mothers do. Women like me don't see a positive pregnancy test and then jump to the conclusion that there will be a baby 9 months later. Cautious optimism is the emotion of choice. Come to think of it, I have still never seen a positive pregnancy test. During the 4 years it took to get pregnant I had seen so many stark, white, negative tests that I just couldn't bring myself to pee on one that last time. I only ever got the blood results.

Anyway, all this leads me to what brought me to my computer to write this post. I am just so incredibly thankful to be G's mom. Having her in my life gives meaning to everything that we went through to bring her into our world. I will never forget about our struggles, although with distance it is not so painful anymore. I still remember enough, and carry the scars deep enough that I will always cherish this little girl. I know I'm in the easy phase right now where she thinks the sun rises and sets with us. I am prepared (as much as I can be) for the moody teenager who is in our future. I will love her regardless of her hormone induced mood swings.

I am getting ahead of myself, for now, for today, I will just be thankful and not worry about anything else.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Bumping Along

It's been a while since I last posted. Things just keep bumping along.

I've been back to work now for awhile and have settled into a great routine with Little G. She brings a smile to my face every morning as she stands in her crib yelling "hi ya" and waving to us. She seems really happy at daycare and will be moving up to the toddler room next week. She is walking now and is getting steadier on her feet every day. Soon she'll be running everywhere. I am so lucky to have this awesome little person in my life.

She is such a happy kid and it is rare for her to be in a foul mood. I don't think I've ever seen her truly unhappy unless she's not feeling well. There is one nasty habit that she has started - biting. Yep, she's bitten some other kids at school and she's bitten me a few times. With me, she thinks it's funny to hear me yelp in pain. But, she really doesn't like the consequence, which is being removed from me and whatever else she has been playing with and being made to sit by herself for a few seconds. This tends to stop the biting cold turkey for a few days until she forgets and does it again. At daycare they treat it the same way. If she bites, she is removed from the situation and the kid who is bitten gets lots of love and attention. I hope it's just a phase that passes quickly.

In other news, H. lost his job recently. So, please keep good thoughts for him to find something quickly. I have full confidence that he will be able to get a great job, I'm just not sure how long it may take.

Here's a photo of G from St. Patrick's Day:

St. Paddy's Day 2012