Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Feeling Better

Edited to add in breaks around the paragraphs. Not sure why this doesn't happen automatically in bloger.

I am feeling a lot better. After I last posted, I had another major GERD/panic attack and went to see my Dr. She fit me in at the last minute. We talked, ran some blood tests and she prescribed me an anti-anxiety drug that is to be used when I can't break the cycle of panic attacks. She only prescribed 10 pills. It's funny, just knowing I have them has helped me; I haven't taken any yet.

I have also been back to see her to get my blood work results. My heart is basically fine. Cholesterol could be better, need to lose weight, but I'm in the average risk for heart disease.

I am back on weight.watchers and am just taking things a day at a time.

Things have been busy around our household. Little G is a going concern. She is so curious and adventurous we have to make sure we have our eyes on her at all times. We had a wedding Saturday night (third one this summer) and then brunch with my parents on Sunday. My parents took care of G overnight for the first time. It was nice to sleep in a little on Sunday, but I still missed her.

Monday we brought our car in to get fixed and to make a long story short, we bought a new car which we pick up tonight.

Oh, and I am moving offices on Thursday. We just moved to this location in May, but our project got put on hold so we are off to our old location. I like that location better anyway so I'm happy to move back.

And, on top of everything, our chocolate lab was really sick. They thought he had a slipped disc in his neck. I have never seen him in so much pain. On Sunday, he started to get better and now you can't even tell there was anything wrong. Seems like this is just part of him getting old - he's 9 now.

Little G turned 20 months old on August 23rd, a year from now we will be getting her ready for junior kindergarten. This seems so crazy that things are going so fast. We are investigating our options now - private school vs public, French only school vs French immersion. H is French Canadian so he would like her to be bilingual. It's a lot to think about for a little person who is not yet two.

Overall though, life is good.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

One and done

I have been following a lot of stories about women trying for a 2nd after infertility. Reading their stories and cheering them on is a kind of torture for me. I know we are done trying for a second, even though we are still keeping the door open. It gets more and more obvious that we are one and done.

Still I keep reading and cheering and thinking wouldn't it be nice. Sigh.

In other news, my GERD and anxiety have come together to create a storm for me. I have gas pains in my chest and I think could it be a heart attack, then the anxiety takes over and I go around and around through these thoughts. My heart is fine, I have been checked several times. My weight and cholesterol could be better, but for all intents and purposes I am healthy. I just need to find a way to get a handle on the GERD, everything I have read says to keep a journal to figure out what are triggers and then strip those foods from my diet. I am too lazy to do it, well, until now. Combined with another attempt to get my weight in hand, I am going to start eating a GERD type diet. No coffee, no mint, no fatty or fried food, no alcohol. Boring! I am also going to ask my Dr to prescrive anti-anxiety meds for when I am having a full on attack. I don't want to have to take something every day, but it would be nice to have something that can break the cycle that happens when wave after wave of attacks hit.

I worry that the GERD/anxiety will impact my ability as a mother. Because my mind automatically jumps to heart attack when this happens, I tend not to exercise or exert myself. I don't want to teach my daughter sedentary habits. So, it is really important that I get this under control. On top of everything, it is just plain scary. I shouldn't have to be dealing with this at 41 years old.

Little G is now 19 months old and is so much fun to be around. She is affectionate and loves to give big hugs. She is enamoured of our Wheaten right now and likes to climb on her or call her up on our bed/couch. G is also talking in short sentences which is pretty cute. She's not at the point where you can have a conversation with her, but she can answer simple questions. She is truly a joy and I realize every day how lucky we are to have her in our lives.