Wednesday, August 15, 2012

One and done

I have been following a lot of stories about women trying for a 2nd after infertility. Reading their stories and cheering them on is a kind of torture for me. I know we are done trying for a second, even though we are still keeping the door open. It gets more and more obvious that we are one and done.

Still I keep reading and cheering and thinking wouldn't it be nice. Sigh.

In other news, my GERD and anxiety have come together to create a storm for me. I have gas pains in my chest and I think could it be a heart attack, then the anxiety takes over and I go around and around through these thoughts. My heart is fine, I have been checked several times. My weight and cholesterol could be better, but for all intents and purposes I am healthy. I just need to find a way to get a handle on the GERD, everything I have read says to keep a journal to figure out what are triggers and then strip those foods from my diet. I am too lazy to do it, well, until now. Combined with another attempt to get my weight in hand, I am going to start eating a GERD type diet. No coffee, no mint, no fatty or fried food, no alcohol. Boring! I am also going to ask my Dr to prescrive anti-anxiety meds for when I am having a full on attack. I don't want to have to take something every day, but it would be nice to have something that can break the cycle that happens when wave after wave of attacks hit.

I worry that the GERD/anxiety will impact my ability as a mother. Because my mind automatically jumps to heart attack when this happens, I tend not to exercise or exert myself. I don't want to teach my daughter sedentary habits. So, it is really important that I get this under control. On top of everything, it is just plain scary. I shouldn't have to be dealing with this at 41 years old.

Little G is now 19 months old and is so much fun to be around. She is affectionate and loves to give big hugs. She is enamoured of our Wheaten right now and likes to climb on her or call her up on our bed/couch. G is also talking in short sentences which is pretty cute. She's not at the point where you can have a conversation with her, but she can answer simple questions. She is truly a joy and I realize every day how lucky we are to have her in our lives.


  1. Hello. Long time reader, new commenter.

    A few years ago my doctor suggested that I go low carb in order to control my blood sugar, which was creeping up towards pre-diabetic. It worked and my blood sugar levels stabilized. In addition, it also cut my anxiety levels waaaaaay down and eliminated my constant need for pepcid. Prior to that, I was having panic attacks that were triggered by my heartburn (I too feel like I am having a heart attack.

    Now, I eat some carbs, but I can always tell when I eat too many because I get insomnia, feel anxious, and have heartburn. So, I would suggest avoiding starches and sugars for a week or two and see if anything improves.

    1. Thank-you for posting!!! This makes me feel like there is something within my power to do to help myself.

  2. Oh sweetie, I am so sorry your anxiety is back. And I'm so sorry you feel the pain in reading about many of us going for number 2, you don't have to do it, you know that and we'll all understand.
    For the GERD, ask your doctor if it's worth checking you out for helicobacter pylori (very simple, immediate result type of test), it may be contributing to the worsening of the symptoms, it's easily treatable and you would feel better. While the anxiety is playing on your mind, you should know by looking at G that you are doing an amazing job, don't torture yourself unnecessarily. Much love from here, Fran

    1. Thanks Fran. I will talk to my Dr. about that.