Stressed

Little G turns 2 in December and I am starting to think about her birthday party. You know, getting a theme, figuring out decorations and guest lists etc. We don't have a lot of friends with kids her age. One has a son that is a year older and one has a daughter a year younger, and another that is a year and a half younger. So, I'm trying to figure out what kind of party to have. Then I started thinking about friends for her. Does she have any friends? Is this something I'm supposed to be asking at daycare? She's not even 2. Am I supposed to be setting up playdates for her on the weekend? Argh! I am stressing about this. I want her to be happy and fulfilled. And, I really don't want her to be a loner. How do I go about this? Do I make inquiries at the daycare? And, back to the party... do I need a big theme or do I wait until she's older? This really doesn't seem to be that big of a decision all things considered... so why is it stressing me out?

Pinterest

So, have you discovered the magic that is pinterest.com? I am what you would call a "late adopter" so I have just recently found my way onto this site. I love love love it. Be careful, you can find yourself lost in all the pretty pictures and neat ideas and time will pass by without you even noticing. I like crafty things. Last year I made a stocking for Little G for Christmas and this year I will be making new ones for H and I. I also love to knit. I went to pinterest thinking I would find some great crafty ideas. I have found a ton of ideas, but so far none of the things I have pinned are knitting ideas. Oh well!

I have been kicking around the idea of starting a knitting company (another reason I was checking out pinterest). I love to knit and people seem to think I'm pretty good at it, so why not start something to bring in a little extra pocket money? I have decided on a target audience and am gathering and trying different patterns so that I can test out the level of difficulty, the time it takes to complete and how cool it looks so that I can assign a price to it. I am currently knitting a baby blanket for which I have adapted a pattern for a full size blanket. So far it's pretty quick to make and it's very pretty. So, it may just be a winner. When I have things in a more concrete state I will pass them on here.

Fears

I was reading a post on one of the message boards I frequent and the topic of fear was raised. A woman wrote that she hadn't known true fear until her children were born. I thought when I read the title for her post that I could really relate to what she was saying, but in truth, I didn't. Her post was about the fear of her children dying, her dropping them or not being able to save them. To this point, I have not experienced those irrational types of fear. Of course, I worry.I am a worrier by nature. I just believe that I do the best with what I have at the time and trust that my daughter will be okay.

There are a lot of other things that I worry about. For instance, I worry about making the right choices for my daughter. I am scared that if I make the wrong decision that I will set her on a path to unhappiness and mediocrity. Little G is 20 months old and we are already contemplating what school to send her to and whether or not it should be a private school. You see, I don't necessarily think that by going to private school that Little G will do big things with her life, but I (we) want to give her the best chance at achieving her dreams.

H. read an article recently that gave me some peace of mind. It basically said that even by having the discussion and weighing the pros and cons of our decision that our child is already better off. It shows that we are thoughtful in our parenting. It gave me peace of mind, but not any real answers. Sigh.

There is one other thing that worries me... the inevitable comments about my age. I do live in a metropolitan city, and there are a lot of older Moms, but I know I am going to encounter an "is this your granddaughter type comment at some point". I know 41 is not that old, but there are a lot of women who are my age or just a little older that are grandparents already. I have to get a good answer ready for when it happens. I have a feeling no matter what I want to say, when it eventually happens I will be struck dumb and mute and slink off home to cry.

I have more thoughts on the fears that relate more to our daughter's conception story, but I am not ready to share those yet.