I am really trying to look forward and to make steps to changing myself. It's tough. I feel like I have split personalities. Half of me is eager to live a healthier life, be active and feel strong; the other half of me lacks motivation and sits on the couch watching tv. Guess which side is winning?
I am making steps to move forward; I have joined a group that focuses on 6 small habits that contribute to creating consistency and a non-judgmental relationship with food. The first habit is to commit to tracking what I eat for two weeks - it's not about whether I'm eating too many/not enough calories; it will make me aware of what I'm eating and when.
I am looking forward to seeing how it goes.
Speaking of looking forward, I have a girls weekend on the 24th of October. That is the weekend that the baby would have been due. I am glad that I will be surrounded by friends (likely full of alcohol) to pass that awful weekend.