Monday, April 4, 2016


I know it's been a while since I last posted.  I haven't had much to say.  Things have been very hard for me since the miscarriage last year.  I was in a dark, anxious place and was having a really tough time pulling myself out of it.  I hadn't had AF since the cycle right after my mc last May.  I was walking around anxious that I was going to have a heart attack and die. And, the pounds have just piled on. It was awful.  I finally went to my Dr and was prescribed Anti-anxiety meds. She also said I was extremely low in vitamins D and B12. Well, after a couple of months taking the drugs and the supplements I am finally feeling like me again.  The anxiety is almost gone, the health anxiety is almost gone and AF has returned.  Crazy, right?!

For the most part, I have moved past the mc.  I still get sad sometimes and when that happens I acknowledge, feel what I need to feel and then move on.  I am getting there.

H and I will be celebrating our ten year anniversary in the fall...Around Valentine's day, he gave me a new diamond engagement ring.  It is truly beautiful and I love it (and him for keeping a promise he made to me when we got engaged).

I am writing because I am turning 45 tomorrow.  I cannot believe I am this old; time just flies by.  I am not sure how I feel about this birthday. Ambivalent at best.

Anyway, I don't know if anyone checks in on my little corner of the web anymore, but if you do know that I think of you often.


  1. Happy birthday! I turned 45 myself just a few weeks ago (March 21). I feel really old, physically and mentally.

    So good to see a post from you!

  2. Best wishes for your next year!
    It's always the milestones, isn't it? When you realise what you have and what you are missing. Not just the last chance of the family of four, but all your chances before as well.
    Very glad to hear you were finally able to get help to turn your anxiety around. Pesky little vitamins. But with spring on the way and one very alive girl and a husband who keeps his promise for over a decade I think you can be proud to turn 45!
    All the best,
    hugs, Valery