Longing

I stumbled upon a youtube pregnancy reveal today and before I knew what happened I watched another and then another. And, then eventually a little over an hour had passed by. I cried along with the family members on screen and felt that old familiar IF ache of wanting that joy.

It took us awhile to make the decision to pursue a FET. Now that we have, I'm in. Just plain in. I hope we are lucky enough to have it work. And, if it doesn't I hope I am strong enough to walk away and be satisfied. It is a fine line I have to balance. I can't let this need for a second child become too all encompassing because I cannot go down that path again. I cannot do fresh cycles and injections again either emotionally or financially. Just can't do it.

We will know by the end of this year what our family will look like going forward. It will be nice to have it settled. Of course, I hope that we will be on our way to having a family of four, but if that doesn't happen our Little G is more than enough.