I had to move my Dr appointment, so it is now this Wednesday (two days from now). I had a real setback this past week from an anxiety standpoint. I have an erratic fear of having a heart attack. My heart is fine, my blood tests are fine. My only risks are weight and stress related. I over-indulged on Sunday night and on Friday my GERD was really acting up. I felt some pain and thought I was having a heart attack. Then I went into full-fledged panic attack. Oh, did I mention that I was driving my husband and I to work at the time? I freaked out and the only thing that calmed me down was H yelling at me. I did break out of the panic attack and it didn't follow me through the day, but this cemented for me that I need to get my shit together.
Since I started wearing the Nike Fuelband and becoming more aware of my activity level I have lost 5lbs. I need to lose a lot more, but this is a great start. I am determined to live healthier. And, this time, it is solely for me. Not for my daughter, not to be a good example or for anyone external... I need this for me and my mental health.
I put a couple of balls in motion over the weekend to ensure I continue on the right path. The first thing I did was use my work benefits to try to find a counsellor. There are two things I need to work on - my anxiety and my emotional eating. I am just waiting to be matched with someone. The other thing I did was go to Supperworks. It's this cool place where you sign up for a time, go in and use their kitchen and recipes and prepare a bunch of yummy meals to bring home with you. The great thing is that everything is already diced and chopped/prepped for you, so it's basically just combining the correct ingredients in freezer bags, slapping the label with the cooking instructions on it, onto the bag and bringing the food home. I love it because there is not thinking about what to eat during the week. It's a fairly, healthy and balanced option which helps me avoid ordering in.
I think if 90% of the time I can make good choices and I get the emotional support that I need that I will be in great shape.
Next is to add a little more activity in my life, but I'm not going to over-load myself right now. I figure if I can get into a routine, that if I am lucky enough to get pregnant again, then I can continue to exercise through my pregnancy.